Mother is God

I use to be a big fan of scary movies. The scarier the better was how I rolled. I don't know what has changed over the years but I cannot watch a scary movie by myself anymore. The other night we crawled into bed to watch the movie Silent Hill. Its a movie based on a video game. We were like 30 minutes into the movie and right when it was finally getting scary I noticed Adam rolling over on his side. I begged and pleaded for him to stay awake. He passed out like 5 minutes later. Damn him.

There I was lying awake in bed while my boys slept. The windows were open and people were being chased, burned, and dying on my television set. The off button on the remote teased me. My fingers couldn't bare to reach out and touch the remote. I didn't want to move out from under the blanket. Finally, it got to the point where I was so scared I was crying my eyes out. I kept telling myself that it was just a movie. It was far fetched and nothing could ever happen like that in real life. Still I was scared. I managed to calm myself down some but just then out of nowhere...

...my phone rang.
Man, did it ever scare me.

But I'm glad it did ring because in the movie the phones were broken and didn't get service. So I knew I was safe lying in between my boys under my warm blanket.

Yearbook Bandwagon

Jumping onto the bandwagon with Molly&Kat, I decided that my yearbook photos were pretty awesome and needed to be posted.









I don't know about you all but I think I look pretty cute in 1976.

Source: yearbookyourself.com

Gage Gone Wild

The night before we left for the Cape, Gage decided that sleeping was overrated. That meant that ol' mama here had to stay awake, too. I grabbed a book I haven't read(The Glass Castle), turned on some cartoons, made a snack for the little man, and tried to stay awake. Four hours later(1am) and he was still ready to go. Every 5 minutes or so I would peek up from my book and watch Gage watch his 'toons. During one of my non-peek times Gage snatched the remote from the table without me knowing.

A few minutes later I look up from my book and Gage was still watching TV. I looked at the TV expecting Wow Wow Wubzy to be on but much to my surpise it was not. Instead of Wubzy I was staring at two girls making out with nothing on. I grabbed the remote and hit guide to see what had happened. Gage had somehow ordered Girls Gone Wild for $14.99. Right then I knew that it was officially bed time for him.

I figured one day my son would be interested in porn but not at 16 months old. He is such a character. Thank God, he had no idea what he was watching. The next morning while we are packing(We are such procrastinators) I told Adam what his son did. He started cracking up and gave Gage a high five proceeded by a "MY MAN!" congratulations. My boys seriously crack me up. I probably would have laughed more about it at the time but come on a $15 porn, little man? Couldn't you have just rented a movie for $3.95? He could have just waited and saw girls on the beach for free on the Cape.

Sleeping Is Much Better

7:32am - I am watching Fox N Friends and can you believe what commercial comes on? Stop yelling at me, OxiClean man. Its 7:30 in the morning.
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Late at night when I can't sleep or sometimes even in the middle of the day, I hear Billy Mays in the background. If that name doesn't mean anything to you then you might also know him by the Oxi Clean Guy, Kaboom Guy, or Orange Glow Guy.



He is the annoying bearded fellow on television YELLING at us to buy those products. Like I said usually when I hear this guy its 1am and there is no need for this yahoo to be yelling at me. Not only has he been yelling at me for years but I think he yelling even louder NOW! He doesn't need to yell at all. I can hear just fine, thank you.

He needs to take a lesson from Vince over at shamwow!, another annoying infomercial. Atleast Vince doesn't yell! He does ,however, wear a headset. I don't get it. Can you not get a microphone in your shirt? This joker reminds me of someone running up to you in the mall to see the demonstration. I didn't want to see it in the mall and I really don't want to see it on my TV.



While I'm on the subject here is a little note on two more infomercials why in the world would they put Turbo Jam and Power 90 on at 2am or so in the morning. I think exercising is the last thing I want to be doing at that hour. Actually, I don't even want to be thinking about exercising then. Shopping, maybe, but if I really have the urge to shop at 2am I will go to QVC and buy the Special Value of the day(which happens to be a Maxx New York Italian Patent Triple Entry Quilted Tote if you were wondering.)